i wanna play forever

2009-07-31T03:32:00.002+08:00

I have shifted my blog to angjiaxin.livejournal.com already.

Find me there!

do you know

2009-07-19T02:15:00.002+08:00

I have found a place, other than Middle East, that is rich in oil.

This place that I have discovered, might be even more richer in oil than Middle East.

This place is so understated. I cannot believe it!

This place is my face.

war begins

2009-07-17T01:27:00.002+08:00

I am declaring war, once and for all.

I gave you chances and yet you never learn from your past mistakes.

Tonight, I set my record straight and is more determined than ever to beat you back to your retreat.

I am going to sleep before 12.30am each night, pile up on water, veggie and fruits diligently.

I am going to do all I can to banish you forever.

I fight you, asshole pimples!! and asshole pimple scars.

I shall make a week my timeline.

I am walking on sunshine

2009-07-14T02:03:00.004+08:00

I think writing in this blog is the only commitment I ever engage myself in after living for so long. I like to write and I think blogging is a good tool. It never matters to me who or how many are reading my blog.Then again, there is only so much I can write on my blog. I am still pretty guarded against revealing my emotions at times. Yah, I do not want to shock anyone upon seeing my delicate and fragile I am on the inside. Then I will not be so cool looking in you guys' eyes already.

Anyway I did a shitty thing today. A friend wanted to add me on facebook. At first I accepted, after some contemplation, I deleted her instead. Merely because we used to be best buddies during primary school until I grew up to be some deviated weird thing in secondary school who went round harming other people.Since then, I began avoiding her at all cost. In fact, I have been avoiding people from my past. Because I had been rather shitty, you see. So I do not want any connection with them anymore, because I feel bad that I let them down before. BUT, I have since been less shitty already. Just that there is no more chance to let them know. Not that there is a need to, probably just to lessen the guilt weighing on me.

Anyway, karma hit soon after. Because the mouse I got still cannot work. ARgh, it is quite a bit of inconvenience when I cannot save pics and music etc. Then again, it is not armaggeddon.So I am going to handle this calmly and resolve to solve the matter calmly too.

My new resolution is to whine less and complain less, ya!

Ok, this is not the only shitty thing I have done today.

Today my grandma asked me to take my lunch like 100 times within say, 10 mins, so I decided to reply with a scream. OK, I suck, I will aim to be more fillial tomorrow. And, anyway, karma hit again! Because my unloving and unfriendly brother is not taking leave to attend my convo.I love to see family unity at times, you see.So, I am a tad disappointed. I shall remember to go scratch his 300+ bucks leather study chair tomorrow.And, I have no guts to ask him to resolve my mouse issue which I am 100% sure my bro is capable of solving for me. SIGHs.

Everyday is a day to strive for the better, and improve yourself for the better. So everyday is a good start already.

Life seems much easier when you are no longer holding so tightly onto things. Things like pride people or anger and stuff. Can breathe so much more easily now.I think I must remind myself daily to be less of a control freak, to demand less of others.

And, tomorrow I really am going to leave my house to search for part time job.I must!

I am going to fill my life with hope and more hope and plenty of positivity!

we love water

2009-07-10T00:20:00.004+08:00

I hardly ever see rubber liwen and morbid cherrie swimming before or in their swim suits until one day, I chanced upon a picture online.

It was the picture of them playing by the pool side. Such a rare scene, of course I have to upload the image here.

Friends forever! Here they are:

ok, just kidding.

be positive

2009-07-09T01:13:00.002+08:00

I have not been blogging, because I have been turning to my audio-mobile blogs like cherrie liwen cath sis and my cousin. Too lazy to pen down anymore.

In retrospect, I discovered how little I know about myself and how there are so many more things that I can learn from others.

It was only until liwen told me and which my cousin affirmed that did I realise I really have the tendency to make small hiccups look like armaggedon! That is bad, really.

Aye, I feel like writing a long post but apparently laziness is so overwhelming.

Before I end off, time to embrace positive attitude!

concerns x worries x paranoia

2009-06-23T19:52:00.003+08:00

There is a fine line distinguishing concerns from worries and worries from paranoia.

I am pretty much incapable of telling the differences, no matter how stark a contrast they are in you guys' eyes.

Sad to say, I know I am a paranoid person.

I hope everything will settle nicely by this friday. All the incessant worrying is wearing me out, draining me a little.

Hello there, you are disappearing from my life. Are you even aware of it? Do you want it to happen?

I secretly love govt jobs, to be honest. They care for you like a nanny.

teeth for you and me

2009-06-22T16:48:00.002+08:00

My four teeth are finally extracted... no more extractions.. WHOOPEEEEEE!!

I was wondering if I should post them up but I do not want to traumatise you guys.

Anyway, seeing them on my desk, I felt an odd sense of intimacy. So I decided to name them, to help me better rememeber their sacrifices.

Hey, cath, isaac, liwen, cherrie, I will never forget you guys man! You guys will forever be my good teeth, ya!Take care k.

WHoopeeeeeee....

Ok, time to pray friday will be another good situation.

don't play with my heart

2009-06-19T11:22:00.004+08:00

I miss you so much, I don't think you would ever know. Cos I hardly ever explain myself though outsiders would have understood me so easily.

Dear

nasi lemak, laksa, meesiam,hokkien mee, carrot cake, fish noodles, fried rice, ribs, chicken, potato,bubble tea,stingyray, wu xiang, squids, ice cream,burgers,fries, mushrooms, vermicelli, fruits... and every other food that I cannot eat at the moment...

please get out of my head and stop tormenting me.

:(

2009-06-18T15:28:00.003+08:00

Hello world, I am feeling so negative and thus decided to come here and vent out or whine abit.

I just had 2 teeth extractions and sometimes I would feel abit of the stinging pain from the wound site. And, the area near my jawbone hurts too. I have no idea if the pain is related and that worries me. I am worried about so many things too.Now whenever the thoughts of teeth extraction, visiting dentists flash through my mind, I would feel a cold chill running down my spine. I am so freaked out about pain. I have very low threshold for pain, you see.

I hope, I really hope this journey would not be a tough one and that things will settle nicely and smoothly into place soon. No hiccups, no nothing. What I will embrace is a perfect/good end product. I hope I will have the courage to brave things through and not whine so much. Really, everything is making me feel so down right now.

I shall stay positive and just think of the happier things.

screw the dentist

2009-06-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

Argh, I just returned from 2 teeth extractions. I had an asshole dentist who lacks work ethics and is super mercenary. Anyway, I shall go back to him for another 2 teeth extractions to torture him. Provided I survive today's ordeal. I am still bleeding, its an hour already. And pain is beginning to set in.Dunno why, but I feel rather sad now.

hello..I am catherine... and you are anne...

2009-06-13T01:26:00.006+08:00

Hello, we are treading on dangerous grounds.At least sometimes I think I am. I no longer can tell when you are kidding when you are not.

I have taken up a part time job.As a telemarketeer. Work is not as easy as I expect it to be. I am a spoilt brat, I demand things. So to get me to convince people is as hard as asking me to stay vegetarian. I get impatient without realising. And and my voice is so masculine. HAHa. AIYA, also not first day then I know. I have a good boss. Because he is a nice, decent chap, it makes me feel bad that I am unable to contribute much to him, I feel like I am wasting his money and time. Sighs.I feel I should quit soon, perhaps he is too nice to fire me. Next time when we all meet up then I tell you all some funny stories from work~~

I went to play basketball with fangwei and her friends. I do not know her friends at all, but they are all very nice people and friendly to me. I realised very often I am the one not open and accepting of others when in reality I always worry people might be unfriendly to me(unaccepting of me).Anyway, you guys should witness my bball prowess man. Today I air-balled all my shots. really all the shots. Luckily no one blamed me. Cos I decided to run home half way into the game, to avoid kenna chop the head by my teammate for being so loser. But you guys need to commend me cos for the first time, I actually dare to mingle with strangers. Then again, I never talk la, play ball only.

Life seems exciting for a change.Maybe I am just in a better mood.

pet society

2009-06-10T01:00:00.006+08:00

Today, I created a facebook account, after so long.

It is all because yesterday I used cath's account to kpo around then I found Bernadine!! My favourite prof. LOL. so I used cath's account to add her as a friend, without first informing cath. Then, I felt abit bad. So I decided to create my own account.

Tadaa.. my pet.. isaac shuwenjing. I deliberately keep her naked because I think buy clothes so waste money. LOL.

Today, I also spent the entire day whining to cherrie till my woe came out like tsunami to her. There she was, sitting all calm and supportive to listen to me. I was rather grateful for the ears she was so willing to lend. I wanted to drop her a sms to thank her but changed my mind. I thought given how musculine our clique seems( despite that it is an all girls group), I would better not appear too expressive and all emo like.Turned out she actually bothered to ask me for an update at the end of the day. This friend here is a gem.

down with zits

2009-06-08T22:55:00.004+08:00

If there is one thing that I hate and which I can recall offhand very easily, it definitely has to be pimples. I hate pimples. If i have to be an object in my next life, I might volunteer to be anti pimple gel or some teatree products.To be a pimple fighter, acne hero. Argh, I hate acne scars on my face!!! It makes you look so dirty looking!!!

Anyway, today is my mom's birthday. I just found out my mom is rather old already. Therefore, as of today, I am going to be a better daughter. I shall not raise my voice at her no matter what happens. I shall have more patience and love in me.I think, I should learn to be more affectionate too. I shall not get mad at my mom too when I am angry at my father. I want my mom to lead a better life.I wish time would slow down while my life picks up fast so I could afford more for my mom so she can enjoy more. But honestly, as long as I dont throw my tantrums anyhow, I think my mom is rather contented with me already.

Sometimes I am so scared. I am so scared that time does not wait for me to let me do the things I want with the people I love.So I am not going to wait anymore. Just do what I want to right away.

冷笑话

2009-06-05T09:14:00.002+08:00

從前....有兩個年糕，一直都黏在一起．．．

直到有一天，他們終於分開了！！！！

兩個年糕感到非常高興，然後他們就和對方互相GIVE ME 5．．．

不幸的他們倆又黏了回去．．．．．

a letter to my friend

2009-06-03T15:22:00.007+08:00

Dear cherrie,

Five seconds ago, you told me you wanted to read my blog, I shivered uncontrollably and clenched my fists till my bony knuckles turned as white as ivories and I started having fits. (jus kidding)

By the time you managed to find your way to this blog, I would have either killed liwen off for not protecting me, or I would be foaming at my mouth after being slowly terrorised by you. Why, oh, why of all blogs, you have to read mine? I wrote crap in here. Did I not supply you with other more interesting blogs to read? Now, I might even have to burn MOF for making you so free and bored.

xoxo,

your #1 friend on earth

happy~~

2009-05-31T00:08:00.003+08:00

Today is a happy day~~

My sister treated me to pasta because I am deep in poverty. Then she bought me a knife which is rather useless yet very expensive. She bought it without any hesitation because she could tell I like it! That made me so so so so guilty and touched!

And guess what, I finally managed to find the replacement for the noodle keychain I had dropped into the drain! I was looking high and low for it at so many shops and places but to no avail. Yet today, my sis suggested trying at this certain store and voila! There it was, lying so inconspicuously on the shelf together with other keychains of the same series! Boy, was I happy. My sis even paid it for me :)

Because I saw how readily my sis was willing to spend on me today, it made me realise she means it whenever she says she dotes on me. So, I have decided to be fairer and nicer to her! I hope I can remember to change my attitude and be less of an asshole.

And, the night ended with my cousin's bbq and a game of badminton. I played against my cousins with my mom on my team! I love playing badminton!

have you started walking today?

2009-05-28T21:54:00.006+08:00

Lately, I have been roaming the streets of citylink, marina square and suntec rather regularly with my walkaholic friend.Each outing we go on, she makes it a point to walk ourselves to death. It does not matter where we are, she will still have the ability to make us walk like there is no tomorrow. My calves probably have ballooned as a result. These days, if anyone of you spots two turnips walking by themselves, do not get a shock or what, you probably have seen me and those are probably my legs.I mean if you know me, you would not expect me to walk so much. These few days I think we have covered so much distances, akin the entire size of singapore already. Kidding of course.

Today, we also have our few seconds worth in the limelight. You see, our friend here (the same walkaholic one) who happened to be given an extra set of guts during birth, brought ice milo into the MRT train. All was well as felicia (hahahaha) and walkaholic and I were chatting, until an old lady wearing a big pair of shades, carrying an extra grumpy look and looking so sinister like some secret FBI agent decided to pick a fight with us. She loudly commented how we should not bring in the drink and how dirty it would make the environment appear to be etc etc until her voice got drone in the background. She was openly criticising us for say, 5 hours? No lar, but she did say for quit long and seemingly making a storm out of a teacup.Obviously walkaholic (born with extra set of guts) do not give a shit about her you see. The old lady then proceeded to press on the side of her shades which we suspected was where the secret camera was probably hidden to, snap a picture of us. So, she could either upload on "Stomp" or maybe the newspapers since provide news to newspapers can help win you a handphone . My point is, she could just tell us off once and that would be enough.In fact,she could tell us personally and not openly criticising us. I know we were wrong in the first place, but the way she treated us I feel was not justified. Of course, I did not elaborate on how she really reacted here, but ya,I just thought it was not too right. Anyway, in guarding against her from complaining us on stomp, we even prepared to call ourselves cherrie. Not to evade the shame and punishment, but more to let cherrie have a share in the limelight so she does not feel left out, you see.

Just in case if you guys are dying to know and have not realised it, walkaholic who was born with the extra guts is actually our dear friend, liwen.

PANGSAIIIIIIIIIIIII DEGREE

2009-05-22T00:56:00.005+08:00

ARGH, I graduated with a pangsai degree!!! Even though my results have been rather pangsai- like but I believe in miracles and fairy- tales!! ARGH why did miracle not happen tonight? I do not have honors man! which means my degree is equivalent to your kleenex tissue paper, or that NTUC toilet paper in your washroom , or may be that no-brand towel paper in your kitchen!!

I have a PANGSAI DEGREE!!! P-A-N-G-S-A-I DEGREE!!! PPPAAANNNGGGSSSAAAIII DEGREE!

A while back, I was worried about whether I could pass all my subjects. Now I am agonising over my... PANGSAI DEGREE!!

P-A-N-G-S-A-I DEGREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

On a slightly brighter note, yah, I managed to graduate after all.

No need to waste parents' money already. No need blend with furnitures in classes already. No need be free rider for projects already. No need mass copying already. No need eat school shitfood already. No need stressed over presentations already. No need chiong for exams in school during late nights, telling isaac I need to go home soon cos I wanna go clubbing when clearly it is a monday night. No need to scare him when he is outside instead of revising for his exams. No need to make cath vomit blood when she has to teach me already. No need to discuss with zhichao about having terrible insomnia nights already. These are my exams comrades which make exams more tolerable. No need meet cherrie and the rest by chance in school and feel so happy like I have found some pieces of gold nuggets already. No need play arcade basketball games with cherrie after school and playing like we are in the olympics representing singapore already. No need hear liwen complain how no one messages her and her popularity plunges during exams period for Bnf people already. No need meet wenjing after school when school gets boring or taxing. No need collect stationaries or all kinds of presents from her during the start of every semester and during exams period as her way of encouraging me already. No need make her worry about my school already.No need pon school already.No need make my grandma so pissed at NTU thinking NUS is better than NTU cos I attended less school days than my brother having paid similar amount of school fees.

Now that the dust of school times has more or less settled down, I should start planning ahead. I need a haircut, my hair looks like some grand fibre curtains now. I also need formal wear, but at my current state of poverty, I guess that has to wait. I need to continue my battle with pimples and blemishes also, before my face looks like some pizza with extra toppings. Which also means I need to find a way to have sufficient sleep, to curb my insomnia. And most importantly, I need to study up on accountancy.Because reality is, I need to find a way to stay in EY before they kick my ass. I also need to get a part-time job to earn some money while killing time during the hols.

And, I have made a promise to be nicer to people around me if I can pass my 803. So in future, if I revert back to being spoilt brat or unreasonable or demanding, just slap me.ok, pls don't do that. Just remind me gently to be nicer. Rome is not built overnight, you see.

I hope after I sleep and wake up tmr, NTU is going to tell me I can get a second lower. HAHA.

get busy, get useful

2009-05-12T02:46:00.002+08:00

I have decided to tear myself away from my bed and do something constructive from today onwards. I guess people are right when they told me in the past that at some point of slacking, you would eventually get tired of it. I guess, I might have just reached that point.

All of a sudden, I desire some action, some work. Something useful I can make out of.

So ya, back to taking the first step out of my slum state and be positive again!

:)

2009-05-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

Ah ha, do you smell hope? I smell hope. It is sweet and endearing. I wish it would last.

On a seperate note, have you ever come across the word " emotionally demanding''?

Are you such a person?

These days, the weather turns so erratic. It rains at the most unexpected timing and stops very abruptly too. But I love it when it rains very late in the night. When the sky is red and the night stands absolutely still and quiet. All that you can hear is the rhythmic patters of rain drops slapping on the window panes and the occasional claps of thunders. I would watch the sky and those rain drops to my heart's content. And, as a result, my persistent insomnia eventually returns again. Damnnit.

only time can tell

2009-04-30T01:41:00.005+08:00

Sometimes, you seem to feel something or someone is very important to you, seems to weigh alot more than you can believe.

Sometimes, you are not so sure anymore.

Often, I would wonder if what we feel, those uncontrolleable emotions are the products of our everyday experiences, interactions.

Or are they merely thoughts which our brain injects in us to make us think and hence feel the way we do. like the brain tells us, this is the way we should feel or that is the way we should think.

They are different.The former cannot be engineered whereas the latter can.

So, is it the heart or the brain?

Who holds the truth?

On a side note, looking back, it was only some weeks ago when I had to wake up early diligently to mug hard for my exams. Those times were no easy times. They were stressful times whereby I had alot to worry for. I hope I could really reap the fruits of my labour. Good fruits.

post exams

2009-04-22T22:40:00.003+08:00

Exams are over, what is left is the verdict that follows it. To be honest, I am still unable to let go of my fears regarding 803 to completely enjoy this much anticipated holidays. of course, countless people have told me not to worry because all of us are on the same boat, still there are too much at stake. I cannot simply ignore it.

Anyway, 803 is such a spoilsport, is not it? There can be multiple reasons why I can be excited now. It is holidays! That translates into more baking and cooking, more outings, more readings, more slackings and even more eatings, more movies etc etc but now, I feel so hesitant about almost everything :(

Anyway, you know what I am thinking? I think we should go bunk in at liwen's place and let her serve us plenty of food while we cheong movies by movies. We could go cherrie house cheong steamboat also. Food keeps us sane.

life goes

2009-03-30T19:42:00.002+08:00

Today, is a sad monday.

But it's ok.

Because, tomorrow is tuesday.

Tomorrow will be a great day again.

If there are personifications

2009-03-24T17:55:00.012+08:00

This is how AA306 looks like.

Long before you have taken AA306, you have already heard so much on how deadly the course syllabus is going to be. And you realise its so true.

Just like how you know it all along, never to swim in the open seas for fear of sharks lurking in the vincity, eating up your body.

This is how AA304 looks like.

You know AA304 will not be easy, but you have no idea it would be this challenging.

Just like you understand crocodiles belong to one of the most feriocious creatures on earth, you are taken aback by how lethal they can get at times. They lie underneath the water surface and catch zebras drinking water by total surprise, chewing them up without pausing for a second.

This is how school looks like.
On the outside, school seems so fun and exciting, the truth is, school stress grabs hold of you and suffocates you so much, leaving you so breathless.

Just like jellyfishes, look so magical and attractive on the outside, without you realising, they use their tentacles and grab hold of you, refusing to let go of you and then only to give you some potent stingings before reluctantly letting you off.

This is how accountancy looks like.

The reason is self explanatory.

happy and touched

2009-03-20T22:06:00.002+08:00

I think I should blog about today's dinner but I have no idea what to blog about. As usual the company was great, lots of laughter and fun. Teasing and stuff. Though food was not as good as we had expected, the company more or less compensated for it. I must say, I did enjoy myself thoroughly. I do not believe in forever, but I really hope we all would remain friends for as long as we can. Because I derive a sense of comfort, joy and simple happinesses from you guys which others can not really provide me with.

Anyway, I realised I have a soft spot for certain words. Stuff like " that is what friends are for"

or when people tell me they miss me, such stuff really will make me go weak. Yar, my iron heart is slowing becoming toufu heart already.Resistance resistance resistance! Anyway, I think my friends are really nice to me even though I am really.. not worth it. Sighs, make me so touched lar.

And, on my way back today, I saw a gigantic butterfly at the lift. I got terrified and stood at a corner away from the lift. Then a cat came by and bit the butterfly with its mouth. At this point in time, one 90 plus year old granny saw me looking so scared in a corner. She thought I was afraid of the cat. I tried to explain it was the butterfly that I was scared of. Sadly, I have no idea how to say butterfly in hokkien so I could not really explain to her. Anyway, granny was very brave. She tried to protect me by going to the cat, trying to distract it so that I could safely make my way to the lift. I was so touched that the granny cared enough to help me since that granny was just my neighbour. But I was also embarrassed that me, being a healthy strong 22 year old actually needed an old 90 plus granny to protect me from harm.

ok, long night ahead.

happy happy

2009-03-17T00:28:00.004+08:00

I think I am a pretty fortunate person. I always feel I do not really deserve what I am given in life.

I have a great family. This year I think everyone is trying to give me a better celebration.I do not know why, but I just felt so. It seems like they indeed try to give me the best of that they can. I love my family. This year, even my brother gave me something. That is certainly something new and out of the blue. I was touched too. I did not expect it. I am not great with words, neither am I the expressive sort. I wish my family would know how glad and grateful I am to have them, though at times I do feel pissed by them and probably said the otherwise. Sometimes I also feel I do give my family quite a bit of a trouble whenever I am sick with indigestion, gastric, headaches and what nots. I also throw tantrums quite often. At times like these,I wish I had treated my studies more seriously. So that I could make my family proud by getting a better degree, so they could one day share with anyone about my achievements and be proud of me.

Anyway, I had quite a shock when a secondary school friend of mine rang me up to wish me happy birthday and chatted with me abit. It was unexpected because I have no idea he would remember my birthday or how he knew it was my birthday. Then again, half of those who had sent me their well wishes today, I have either no idea who they are or any idea when is their birthdays. I seldom remember dates so it does surprise me when people still bother to remember mine.Having said that, I must clarify that I am not a bad friend, just that I am slightly on the lazy side.

I was supposed to be mugging just now but I was down with nauseousness and headache so I watched greys anatomy to unwind. There was this part which was rather touching. Karev just got praised for his good work. He was so overjoyed, to him he felt he was the kind of person who sinks to the bottom, not the kind who rises or get praised. So when he got complimented, he was so happy. He was so overwhelmed.I was moved by the renewed hope I saw in him, like a new man.

happy happy

2009-03-14T00:34:00.005+08:00

Morning liwen smsed me asking if I wanted to go drinking,I declined of course. In the evening, I smsed her again.

me: wanna go somewhere with loud music and live band?

liwen: where where?

me: my house downstairs. got ge tai.

I love liwen. she is a great buddy.

Yesterday we were watching "outbreak" where in the midst of it I gotta go to the washroom. But the entire place was so dark, especially the path leading to the external doors. I got so scared.But hero liwen was nice enough to accompany me to the doors, not caring if I was being too stupid/retarded/silly to be so scared of nothing.

Buddy forever!

stop brooding

2009-03-09T23:33:00.004+08:00

I realised I have so many things to worry about. They are never ending some times.

I want to get rid of the anxious and paranoid personality streaks in me.

Sighs.

noooooooo

2009-03-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

I feel so reluctuant to touch anything academic.

I love rainbow

2009-02-25T19:09:00.003+08:00

Nah, not just one but 2 rainbows that could actually be seen from my house.

And we just mentioned rainbow randomly today, and true to our nonsense, I really saw them in the evening. Talking about coincidence. Anyway, now I feel like slapping myself because I forgot to zoom in on the rainbows as I took the picture with my handphone.Nonetheless, so pretty right!

stay positive

2009-02-18T00:51:00.002+08:00

As of today, I am going to try to be more friendly and practice better manners.

I shall say my 'thank you" more often and say my "sorry" whenever needed and not when I finally am willing to.

I shall stop people I know on the way to start a small conversation, or say my "hellos" and smile at them warmly.

I shall not run at the sight of familiar faces.

I shall share more.

I shall be more affectionate.

I shall smile more.

I shall be more forgiving and try not to be anal at every small unhappy event.

I shall be more unconditional towards people close to me.

Lastly, I shall work harder too.

Hope not

2009-02-16T22:04:00.004+08:00

I think I just flopped my 304 quiz which everyone has said was do-able.

accounting is a monster

2009-02-06T17:33:00.002+08:00

I think I am...allergic to accounting and allergic to school.

Sigh, this semester I diligently do all my homework regardless how tough the questions are or how ill prepared I am. I even make myself stay home to do my work as opposed to going out and make merry.

Sighhh.

I wanna slack hard like how I did in the past. LOL. but I do no want to get anymore shitty results.

On the other hand, I realised I am indeed a fortunate fellow, I am always better off than alot of other people in alot of ways.

So maybe I should shut my trap and cease my ranting to get cracking instead. I should be grateful.

But I really hate schwork. I wanna playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

aftermath of watching bride wars

2009-01-31T00:31:00.003+08:00

Having watched bride wars today, I have the most beautiful envisons of how some weddings should be for my friends, to make it a memorable affair for the brides.For lasting memories with greatest impact on the minds of everyone.

For liwen, who is active, fun- loving and adventurous, her wedding ought to be one packed with fun and excitment, totally unconventional. What can be a better way except to get her to ninja roll into the hall in her wedding gown to the tune of wedding march? It may sound ridiculous in words here. But if you know liwen like I do, I am confident you would so agree with me.Given her nature, we might even hold an impromptu basketball match too!

For cherrie, who is an only child and slightly on the shy side, she grew up having few friends or people around her. She seldom experience the joy and warmth of a big gathering nor strong ties amongst a large group of people. For her wedding, we ought to let her kick start her wedding ceremony with a rugby haka cheer, basking her in the unity of her guests, making her feel warmly embraced and loved by so many people who care.

For catherine, its very simple. Despite her loud voice and gregarious acts, she is really very simple natured, very girl next door. Something less complicated will suffice. On such a special day, we of course can only give her nothing but what she loves best. Therefore, for her wedding, we shall get the guests, officals and everyone including herself to dress up as ba kwa! The theme shall be ba kwa. People can choose to be mei zhen xiang or lim chee guan or even xiang wei! Anything as long as you come as a ba kwa. That is because she really likes ba kwa.

As for me, I think having a quartet to play live music would be good, as opposed to playing music digitally.

K, time to mug.

Please do not hate me after reading this entry. Friends forever and no offence :P

new cheer

2009-01-26T21:07:00.002+08:00

This looks fun. We should do it before school resumes, before and during exams too.

contented

2009-01-22T23:46:00.002+08:00

Amidst my half done homework, and piles of accumulated doubts from school, I feel strangely blissful and contented with life.

I love CNY. I love being with my family and seeing them scurrying around busy preparing house decorations.

renuion lunch with monsters and freaks

2009-01-21T22:15:00.003+08:00

Sigh, today my fabulous plan was to pon BS803, submit contract to ey then go home mug my 306. Because my 306 doubts are snowballing at an accelerated rate, I am darn worried about it. Then got one asshole called me and nagged and nagged and nagged and naggeddddddddddddd at me to join them for renuion lunch. Which apparently was a nice term to con me over. HAHA. so Poof! I appeared at JP and burnt my day away.

We did nothing but ateeeeeee alot at Zhou kitchen. Quite worth the price, considering the quality and quantity of the food we had. It was fun blabbering nonsense over food. It was even better making cherrie the subject of our ridiculous pictures.Liwen performed the magic of black hole right on the spot, very amazing.Ok lar, never laugh at friends, alright?!

We ended the day playing basketball at the arcade. Because me liwen and cherrie got too bored, we challenged each other. The forfeit was to either kiss the floor or kiss siling. Surprisingly, the floor was more popular than siling. HAHA. Anyway, liwen was the biggest loser and has yet to do her forfeit. I think she went to buy lipstick first.

On hindsight, I really want to slash my hairdresser. And right, you guys better not bully me. see my friend liwen's arms, so strong can!

tell me what is right and wrong

2009-01-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes some things get to me yet I have to ignore my own feelings and thoughts just to ensure others are feelings fine. Ok for the most part, I am seldom like this. But when I do, I feel weird. I have no idea if acknowledging my feelings is wrong, considering that they are negative emotions and would bound to affect other parties involved to a fair extend. But if I were to feign indifference just to put other people' s mind at ease, then who is going to do that for me too? I am not pissed or upset or emo-ing. I am just wondering why things turn out this way at times. In general, people respond to events using either brain or heart, either rationally or emotionally. I have been reacting too rationally that I wish at times I could just throw my emotions in your face so you know.

relaxing day

2009-01-16T23:03:00.003+08:00

The stone did not sink in the pond.

It hit the mango tree and dropped a few mangoes for me to pick.

But I have no idea if the mangoes are ripe yet.

Why the hell are liwen and cherrie such funny people?

I would rather not have the stone right from the start

2009-01-11T21:01:00.005+08:00

I know it will probably be like throwing a stone into the pond, only to see it sink to the very bottom the moment it leaves my hand. But because there and then I have a stone in my hand, I have the hope and dream of throwing the stone and that it will not sink.It will land at a place where I want it to.Or so I thought. I just hope I would be able to wait for another stone, when the current one sinks as expected.

sleepless again

2009-01-06T23:57:00.005+08:00

School....... is hell with shuttle bus and canteens and long queues.

The start of this semester is even more frightening than ever. Everyone is already talking about how vulnerable we are to the massacre of our 2 core modules. I dare not think about it. Of cos, logically speaking we still have time to work hard and survive. But to think that everyone is so petrified about the modules, it just goes to show the level of competency required by these cores. The thought of not being able to move along in pace with everyone just makes me panick. Ok I shall not preoccupy my mind with things that have yet to happen.

IPimple Man

2009-01-06T01:15:00.003+08:00

I went to watch IP man on sat. I thought it would just be some kung fu flick.

Turned out, some scenes were rather moving. I teared a little. But because I did not want to alert stupid wenjing who was sitting beside me and also because my bag was over at her side, I could not reach for my tissue papers. So, I conveniently used the sleeves of my jacket to wipe away my tears subtly.

Guess what happened?

My right side of the face when my jacket got in contact with, got a bloody pimple growing!!!

AND THAT IS BEFORE THE BIGGEST PIMPLE IN MY LIFE HAS HEALED and this bloody new pimple has to come!!

twilight light

2009-01-02T23:25:00.011+08:00

That eventful night.

Went to her house on new year's eve for a small pot luck gathering. Can identify who she is?

A group of six turned up and brought along quite a bit of food.

There were fried beehoon, curry chicken, mushroom sauce spag, aglio oglio and some other finger food like nuggets, karage chicken, spring rolls, hotdogs and sausages and drinks. On several occasions, cruel people mistook my buddy's homemade spag, prior to having been added with mushroom sauce, as fried hokkien noodle. HAHA. Compared to our last picnic, this time round, we had more food, and more edible as well.

Anyway, as the night drew nearer and the freaks had their fill of food,they decided to play drinking games. Indian poker was the first and sadly, the last game. We had several rounds of that.

One player had a distinct advantage over the others.... my buddy here, doesnt even need her hands to hold the card! As quoted from another friend " the wind is blowing and her hair is moving, but the card isn't..." Talking about special powers, then again , you might want to question why her face so pro!

It started out as a harmless game, we mixed drinks by adding what we had on hand to a cup ie raspberry 7 up, green tea, some gui hua tea, rice wine and an extra smelly raspberry vodka. The loser had to drink up this forfeit. We were generally nice and easy going, making things easy for all players by adding greater proportion of less awful drinks.

But one buddy was not so kind, life was not so rosy after all.

After some rounds, one heartless buddy got bored and went into the house and brought out hard liquor. Whisky and some other smelly liquor. Taking about having sick friends. Steer clear of cherrie man! Another fellow went crazy and decided to drink up any forfeit she saw that night -.-

Close to midnight, we did not go down to marina because we were too cheapo to want to take cab. Instead, we lazed ard in the room playing xenga. Generous lili decided to lose every round so that she could treat us to a hearty breakfast. As usual, cherrie only wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep, leaving the guests to their own vices. but, luckily, no one suggested watching any horror show that night. Which reminds me, stupid cherrie conned me to her hse. I agreed to go her hse on the precondition that she would get her toilet's lights repaired. She told me got light already, but it was some portable torchlight like thingy, which ended up making the toilet glow more ghostly. To make things worst, cherrie told me there werent ghosts in the toilet, which means got in the house lar... and I could not go to the toilets near the pool because we have had heard tales about that area too. So I think for that night I needed to hold my bladded quite a bit, luckily no gallstone or kidney stone man.

Then, me and lili went out to the cold silent night for some good chats before proceeding to eat some more. Nice to have her back. Photo of me and lili taken tog:

haha, that is not lili lar, lili is the sexy poker card magneto. We did not sleep the night away because I have insomnia.

My beloved buddies and why does lili looked so.......?!! Chio is such an understatement these days.

Honestly, I have no idea how would my life be without these 2 around. I wonder if there would be a day when cherrie would find me too lousy in personality to want to befriend me.Oh yar, fangwei is returning. good good , finally we can bully her like the good old times again.

The only reason I am blogging is because I need to make myself tired. And I am so not keen to plan electives now, neither am I keen to think about my job applications.

lili, rem to push me k?! And I will rem to tell you your strengths.

zzzzz

2008-12-27T02:12:00.001+08:00

I cant sleep.

I cant stop thinking about food either.

??????????

such a pretty gadget!

2008-12-24T22:36:00.001+08:00

on unfaithful men

2008-12-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

jiaxin - says:

i read news before, really got women tear out the testicles

jiaxin - says:

haha

jiaxin - says:

takopachi

jiaxin - says:

HAHHAHAHA

B-O-R-E-D says:

wah lau

B-O-R-E-D says:

i like takopachi lor

jiaxin - says:

tts why i compared to takopachi

jiaxin - says:

HAHAHHA

B-O-R-E-D says:

-.-

I wonder

2008-12-23T01:45:00.002+08:00

:)

2008-12-21T23:47:00.003+08:00

Today is a good day, because I finally learnt of some truth.

Truth that made me realise I had been an ass, and that I had been too stubborn and blinded.

Anyway, I shall let actions do the talking. I hope it is not too late.

This hols made me feel upset for quite a while due to those job rejections .

But I gain back something more precious to me.

It seems like December is not too bad a month after all.

enlightenment

2008-12-15T23:34:00.003+08:00

I love holidays, they heal and revitalise you, chasing all crap away.

Actually, I think its the isolation that I seek comfort in. I am really growing to be either a hermit or a lone ranger, I am enjoying the isolation so much so that it is getting harder to make myself enter any social setting. No man is an island, I am perfectly aware of that too. I think as of today, I am going to hang out more with others.

One thing puzzles and baffles me quite a bit. Why is it that people seem to have this notion that Christmas is the time to care and share, to the extent that gives me the impression that they are implying Christmas is the only time to do so? I am not saying they are wrong or I am very noble to feel otherwise. I just thought everyday is a time to shower people with care and concern, everyday is a good time to buy people you care presents. I cannot fathom why there is a need to buy presents just because it is Christmas. I mean I do not mind doing so, but what is up with the hype? If it is religion specific then I have nothing to say.

I feel happy today.

on deaths and separations

2008-12-08T00:41:00.005+08:00

When you are alive, you brood, whine and get upset over anything.When you are dying, you regret, reprioritise and want a go at everything again.Sometimes, you may be waiting and anticipating death, wondering when it will finally hit you. Because it may be sudden, random or planned. But one thing for sure, when your time's up, you have to go no matter what.

When you are witnessing others going through it, I thought it would feel worst. I am sure no one would want to watch others suffer, we rather we be the ones to shoulder our loved ones' pain and agony if we could.

Deaths are sad affairs, so are departures of all sort. It is never easy to say goodbye. Be it your own experience or watching others do it.In fact, it is heartwrenching.No doubt there is the theory on recarnation, on going to heaven which is supposedly a much more better place than earth, parting is still heart breaking. It is human nature to only want to have the people we love around us, within reach at all times. Budhha once said in its scriptures that all existence are impermanent, but seriously, who would ever be ready to let go?

Looking at it from other perspectives, deaths and separations serve as a balant reminder that we are always slaves to time. We will always be controlled by time. Treasure your time, spend it wisely. Cherish your loved ones. Everyone has limited time only.

Also, nothing is ever too significant anymore. What we have now, be it assets or woes, they will never be ours for long. They cease to be of any importance once we have to part from the world. Why struggle so hard now, why waste time brooding over things that occupy a small point of your life only? Why overlook what your entire life could bring you? Take it easy, take things more lightly. Just fight enough to know you have tried your best in trying to get what you want, in putting your best effort already, that's good enough.

If I can have things my way, I wish no one has to leave, no one has to suffer either. Save for those who intentionally cause harm to others ie robbers, thieves and terrorists.

epiphany

2008-11-29T01:55:00.003+08:00

I have alot to write in me but have no inkling where to begin or how to. Thoughts run through my mind from everywhere and anywhere.

The lack of restrictions in all ways have allowed me to breathe slower and better, I feel lighter and happier. One thing I like best about holidays is that I am given the option to only do things that I fancy and desire to. I can conveniently ignore the rest. I like this sense of freedom. I appreciate it.

I have not been feeling emotionally well. You see the problem is, I was being rather unreasonable on myself in the past.

It all started with me playing away with my Year 1 and sem 1 of Year 2.I went out, I joked, I could not care less about my grades.I never did my homework nor paid attention in class. It was only in YEAR 2 sem 2 when I met cath and isaac who worked hard with me to pull me through my hellish grades, I started picking myself up.

As a result,I set expectations of myself. I wanted my results to miraculously improve but that was impossible, yet I failed to see that. Each time I failed to grasp concepts, failed to do better than expected. I sank into disappointment and despair. Not to forget, I always left my understanding of the modules to the eleventh hour, few days or just the night prior to exams for cath to crash course me.Because, usually school time I would not be bothered with school work. I always took the easy way out. When that happened, I would score shit grades, resulting in me feeling bad.

Because the inability of me to comprehend accounting makes me feel stupid and it was stemmed from my weak foundation in Year 1. The fact that I was lazy and inconsistent in my school work contributed to my horrendous grades too. Yet I failed to see that. I kept thinking I was stupid. The accumulation of negative emotions caused by the inability to grasp accounting, the sight of my poor grades, the rejections of companies made me feel stupid and useless. In addition, the need to work in accountancy line when I myself dont identify with it makes life even more agonising. I thought life no longer offered me what I wanted anymore. I kept thinking I was trash, feeling like one.I put myself down often, regardless what others told me.

Having thought things through recently, I have finally understood the change in me, why I had become less happy. I need to accept reality and come to terms with my results and how it could never be miraculously improved. I need to drill the idea in my head that there is more to life than grades, than the little few rough patches in life here and there. I need to be stronger in handling things than what I could do now. More importantly, I need to understand life is a long journey, not just a point in time. I will try to take things more easily now, be less anal.

And, I will not ignore or take for granted the happy things in my life now.

exams

2008-11-13T15:52:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow marks the start of my exams.

I do not feel as adequately prepared as last sem, perhaps it is just an impression.

I have already done all that I could.

I should suppress my self doubts and just go into the examination hall to give my best shot, to just try my best.

blast off

2008-11-05T23:39:00.003+08:00

There are enough assholes pissing the shit off me that I wish I could just grab them by the neck and give them a few good slaps to let them know what pain is.

Then again, I am not an advocate of punishments and revenges.

I shall learn to keep everything in moderation.

random

2008-11-02T02:12:00.003+08:00

On thursday night, I suddenly fell sick after my meeting with wen jing. I had fever that stayed stagnant at a high temperature of 38.5 and refused to relent. When my mother knew of it, she got worried. She began to put chilled fever pad on my forehead and chilled face towel on my neck to bring my temperature down. Every 10 minutes or so, she would come to my room to replace the pads and towels and took my temperature, even though it was late in the night already.I could tell she was worried. On friday night, when I got home from a long day at school, my fever came back, but at a less severe temperature, that worried my mom again. She repeatedly came to my room to ensure I was alright. Today when I told her I was going to see a doctor, before hearing the reason, she got worked up and thought my fever came back.I was very touched by her concern. But I never thank her though I would very much want to.I am also very touched and grateful whenever my mother and grandmother always try to get /cook the food I love to eat. Again, I never thank them.Each timeI feel touched, I want to cry, tears simply well up. To avoid making a fool of myself, I always choose to walk away without a word.

I also feel touched when wen jing secretly burned 2 Cds of songs for me upon knowing that my computer had just undergone formatting and that I could never do without music. Again, I never mention a word of thanks to her.I also feel touched whenever my sis gives in to whatever I want without a second thought.Yet I never thank her, instead I abuse her.I also feel touched whenever cherrie and liwen are patient enough to hear me out, help me out, never to leave me alone in the lurch.Actually I also feel touched whever my emerson ex colleague render me help whenever I approach her. She is pretty much tied down by work yet not once has she ever rejected me. At times like these, I could see clearly who are the people in my life who genuinely care for me.

Sometimes I really wish I have the courage to express myself more.

Do you get it?

2008-10-29T23:59:00.002+08:00

In life, we often get upset when things fail to proceed in the way our mental schema work.

When you have already planted the seeds, be it seeds of bad deeds or good deeds,

you can only accept the fruits borne when the time for harvesting comes.

Never be too idealistic or greedy. Be realistic.

Be affected or change the circumstances, the ball is in my court.

yes

2008-10-28T02:29:00.001+08:00

As of today, I will never flare or yell or be mean to anyone anymore.

This is a promise.

I love my cousin!

2008-10-19T23:30:00.003+08:00

" ah xin,

here's the swiss knife as promised.

Although small and humble looking as it seems to be, i find it super portable and useful. Hope this swiss knife will be of help to you as well- even though i don't know at what circumstances will you get to use it. Haha!

No reason for buying you this swiss knife.But this is to let you know that you are not forgotten no matter how busy, how far, how sad, how happy...I am.

We are all there for you.

Study hard for your exams!"

When I got home today, I saw the swiss knife my cousin got for me and the note he wrote for me. I felt so touched. I have the best cousin in the entire world, very caring and sensitive!I am so going to make good use of it.I will use it to slash isaac's mouth whenever he comments that I am ugly,slash cath's mouth when she comments I am flat chested.

daily humdrum

2008-10-18T23:24:00.004+08:00

It is highly ironic when you see people freting and panicking over small issues and instinctively you know that is not the right way to handle matters. Yet when it happens on you, you conveniently panick just as well, if not more? That is definitely ironic,may be double standards too.

I have the hunch that I might need more dosage of sleeping pills for this sem exams compared to the previous few. No idea why but this sems seems to be capable of poisoning my mind alot. so much so that I feel jittery way long before the exams. I am scared, to be honest.I need to pull up my socks if I want to escape unscathed, without a mere pass with merit.I don't want any C for this sem either.

One of the better news for the week is that my cousin got me a swiss army knife. That was very thoughtful of him. He is currently serving the army yet he bothers to get us things from time to time.

I have not applied for any companies yet. I am still procrastinating, for what I have no idea too.

" toughen yourself, buddy. toughen yourself!"

NOOOOOOOoooo

2008-10-15T21:07:00.003+08:00

The past week was a horrible one.

I felt I was subjected to tremendous stress when I could at no point identify the source of my stress.

I flared at the drop of a hat and was very aggressive. I thought I was going to lose it.

Come this week, with my self declared 3 days vacation, I was healed. LOL.

More or less, I guess.

I still feel stressed, but I could now have a clearer picture of the root cause.

Every exams seem like a life and death matter to me, like the arrival of judgement day and I have no idea if I have committed enough evil to be a sinner or if I have done enough good to go to heaven.

Considering that the exams have not even arrived, I still have the ability to make the difference and I am going to do it. I need to believe in myself.

The past few days have been wasted walloping in self pity, fears, doubts and despair. I guess I should not indulge myself in worries and things that are beyond my control.

I should not think too much.

I should just do what is needed to be done.

I am happier when I do not think so much.

I should believe in myself even if the whole world does not. Only when I do, then I can convince the rest of the world.

I promise i would not kill anyone tonight

2008-10-07T19:26:00.004+08:00

Tests after tests, quizzes after quizzes and reports after reports.

Some are taking it so well, while some are religiously adapting to the tight schedules and of course, there are some who are on the verge of crashing.

Those who are about to crash are losers.

Because it still way early to crash. The big treats have not even come within sight.

I miss the days when we stayed over at cherrie house. woke up at midnight to catch horror movies despite knowing that cherrie's house is really haunted.I miss how when you shifted to sleep on the ground and cherrie would whisper to me that usually there were roaches roaming on the grounds in the night and we wouldnt warn you at all.I miss the days when we would head down to vittlers and crapped for hours, or having cherrie's mom to join us, allowing us to hear how adults also crap like us. I miss how I could so spontaneously ask you out and you would agree to simply go out and do nothing with me.How when the world seem to collapse and you use your nonchalence about the world to assure me I would not die alone.Life is so much more sickening when you are away selling your soul to china.Cherrie heard from cath that I am not feeling well and smsed me to find out how I am.I was very touched. That is the reason why I got triggered into thinking about the times when the three of us used to hang out together.I guess somethings are never replaceable. You two's friendships to me is one.

I feel I am always chasing after time, it is always ahead of me.

I feel damn pissed everyday.I see people I feel so tempted to wallop them, especially those who speak loudly or are rowdy.

mental strength

2008-10-02T01:24:00.003+08:00

Now is october, soon comes november, which implies exams is knocking on our doors before we even expect it. The mere reminder of it scares the shit off me.

Was done with psy test.Did my best and I seriously hope I can yield some decent grade. Coming up next would be CS100.I hope to get a decent grade on it too.

Life now is less than exciting. I am living a very sedentary life.I sleep study eat sleep study eat all day long.I feel obese.

I am moved by the little gestures done by isaac on several occasions.He is a real friend indeed.

Lastly, I should stop flaring.Flaring is not excusable, no matter what.

Now, I am really looking forward to friday steamboat already.

when it should not

2008-09-28T23:59:00.001+08:00

Be better not bitter

2008-09-27T02:06:00.004+08:00

I do not have much confidence for my two mid term tests despite having gone through them once. But hey, its ok because I still can improve! I intend to, anyway.

The recess week has been spent waking up early and sleeping late. I hope my hard work would pay off.

Resilience in people is built up by injecting positive interpretations and meanings in negative stuff. It is also built up by not viewing yourself through a mental filter of insecurity and negativity.To see problems and challenges as opportunities to grow and learn.

There is always a way to get past obstacles.

:) W e will survive.

career discussion

2008-09-25T23:26:00.004+08:00

"The sky is so high, the earth is so wide. I am sure you will be somebody somewhere one day!"

I went to the career one to one discussion and the person told me that repeatedly, from time to time.

If I was eating, I would have puked everything out in her face. Simply because I could not buy her story.But the person was very nice. She kept encouraging me, I think she must had sensed the negative aura in me and saw how I looked like some deflated balloon when I went into her office.If there was anything valuable I took away from that discussion, it would definitely be her ample encouragment and the sense of hope she instilled in me. She told me my GPA should not be too much of a concern because a paper cert is nothing but a stepping stone.Still she wanted me to go for accounting jobs before plunging myself into non finance related ones. She encouraged me to go for what I like eventually :)

I am happy again because I have found renewed hope and faith in myself.

After I left her office, she gave chase to me and asked where would I be going next.I told her I was going swimming (as I intended to). She was surprised. She asked do I not need to study?

I replied" thats why I 3.2 mah.I never study one".

And stupid liwen seems to be enjoying herself so much in china! unfairrrrrrrr!

I will

2008-09-24T00:17:00.001+08:00

I want to score 90% for my HP806 mid term test.

I want to score 95% for my CS100 mid term test.

I will work hard to achieve that.

Do you guys have such a sister as good as mine?

2008-09-21T01:41:00.003+08:00

When my sister has good stuff, no matter how precious they are to her, she will always share them with me.

When she sees things I like, she will get them for me.

I must always remember these, even when she does things that pisses me off.

I must.

Thank you, by the way :)

Random mood

2008-09-20T01:29:00.002+08:00

The recess week is a pseudo one!

Next week, nope, make it start of today will be a crazily packed week cramped with so much so much and so much case preparations, projects meetings, report writings and also quizzes revisions.Sigh, the reminder of it makes me feel so dreadful and I really want to run away from school. To differentiate myself from other fellow bloggers who also complain relentlessly about school, I shall include the fact that my prospect of getting a decent job remains a big mystery and that it is a heavy matter on my mind too.After all, the deadline is drawing ever so closely now.

Looking at how things are heading in my life, how my happiness and unhappiness has been fluctuating, I just want to hide in a corner of the world and wait for time to pass me by.Given my slothfulness and my passiveness, perhaps my state should be that of a mud and not humans.I discover that as I grow up, I feel gradually out of place on earth, in this society.There are too many differences in my values and thinkings relative to the norm.Sigh to sidetrackand continue airing my grievances abit, school indeed sucks one's money and life.I wonder how the hell I got into university.And I also wonder how the hell I am getting out. And how the hell I am going to get a job and go to work.Talking about work, actually I enjoy writing alot.I admire writers alot.I may not be proficient in my writing or have ground breaking ideas to share, but I certainly derive much joy from writing something, or anything.It calms me down and make me happier at least for that short moment.Which kind of explains why I am posting an entry at this hour. I need an outlet to vent.But I am feeling fine for now.

I could go on and on but I am not. Because I have stuff pending, waiting for me to lay my nasty hands on them.So I shall leave as it is.If one day I undergo some morphosis and become a monster, blame it on NTU man.

life

2008-09-18T22:41:00.003+08:00

:)

2008-09-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

I am fine again.
Was terribly upset for 1.5 days before realising I could do more than just sit around and mop.
(1.5 days is considered a lot on my scale of being unhappy)

Yesterday was a fun outing day.I love taking walks in the quiet night.Have not done that in a long while already.Wen jing almost quarrelled with a staff from the cinema. She is a kind hearted walking cannon.But if she ever flares at me, I will not hesitate to break her neck man.How can flare at me?!

Today's workshop, I would say is rather useful.Still I dislike making small talks to the max. The people there could weave so many things out of nothing, whilst I tried so hard but could only managed to squeeze out two lines from my reluctant lips.Judging from my performance today, I finally understand why the hell the entire world tells me I am an unfriendly person.I could stone at one side for hours without bothering to talk to anyone.

There were 8 people attending the workshop out of which, only two are locals. -.- And our hands on were held at quads, imagine if we got seen back then, I sure turn and slap cherrie 100 times. The idea seemed so stupid, trying to create a business setting at such an non ideal place.The food was crappy. I gave up eating in the midst of the second dish.I decided to drop my politeness.It sure is tedious to try to uphold a confident, presentable image which could appeal to employers. My greatest flaw, besides refusing to open my mouth, is that I slouch like no one's business by nature. That I am going to change for sure.

Someone said something which made me reflect for a moment. She was a vietnamese, she commented that to sit at quad and consume a 3 course meal on a weekend is a way of enjoying too.For a split second, I was shocked and guilty.How can anyone consider 1) crappy place quad 2) crappy food something to celebrate about? What is considered enjoyable to her is so much not so in my eyes. It made me think if I am too spoilt, too materialistic for my own good. I questioned myself on contentment, whether I am a greedy person...then again, food is my life. I can compromise everything but never on food. Over my dead body man.

I want to sleep before 11pm from now onwards.To exercise and avoid oily, fried and fattening food. To stay focused and never to give up on my studies.And I want to cut down on my jokes.

I am back.

saddddddddddddddddddddddd

2008-09-11T21:41:00.003+08:00

I am so depressed tonight.
I heard what I dread to hear the most.
My heart is so broken now.
sigh.
But I will pick myself up.
Life moves on.
It will be a mere small part of my life.
I will be patient enough to wait for the upsetting stuff to go away by itself.

Just a mental note

2008-09-07T21:02:00.006+08:00

Things to be done, not in chronological order :

1) 205 ICEE proposal
2) 205 ICEE report
3) 205 Quiz
4) 301 case write up on land valuation
5) 301 graded short essay
6) 301 tutorial presentation
7) 301 investment portfolio
8) 301 investment presentation
9) 311 CESIM game
10) 311 CESIM game presentation
11) 311 case presentation
12) HP806 40% MCQ test

On top of daily tutorials and revisions.

2 ways to handle obstacles.

1) give up and be loser and regret forever.
2) grit teeth, bear a while and tackle the obstacles and overcome mental resistance.

I can do it.

I hate 301

2008-09-03T23:29:00.005+08:00

Waves after waves may the uncertainties hit.
Doubting your innate ability.
Grit your teeth and pick up positivity,
Acting like you are superbeing.
The mind cant see.
When the heart is shrouded by obscurity.
You fail to see.
What is lacking is clarity and understanding.
Illusion is a beauty.
It sets you free.
However short it may be.
And however untrue it may be.

super exhausted

2008-09-02T23:25:00.002+08:00

No endorphines, but I still have seratonins....

I learnt 30 cards today, as opposed to the 6 cards I picked up on my first lesson.

I am left with another 3 sets of 14 cards and the different spreads and I will be good to go.Cant wait lar! Shall make my teacher read my career and love life too.

Oh yar, learnt mediation as well.

And fatty comfort food rocks my socks. I love Tuesday aft lecture dinners, good chilling out time.

Time to hit the books, again.

in search of more

2008-09-01T23:21:00.004+08:00

Where has my endorphines gone to?

I need a good pasta and a java chip frappe now.

-.-

2008-08-27T19:04:00.002+08:00

I am really losing sleep and sanity over Thursday case presentation.I hate presentation the most and it just have to happen that I do not possess full knowledge of the topic I am going to present. From my side, I thought I understand it well, but I have no idea if that would be the audience's sentiments too. Damn, self doubts are really your worst enemy.New positive attitude living means letting of worries and just proceed, do your best tomorrow and see how everything goes.What's meant to happen will happen anyway.

money & the damn ladder

2008-08-23T17:30:00.005+08:00

What I want out of life is to feel I have lived my life meaningfully.

That to me would mean I derive contentment from my work and I have helped people and impact some lives.That is my goal, what I want to get out of this life.No doubt I want to earn decent money, the amount need not be sky high.I would suffice with any amount that could enable to get a car, house and live comfortably without having any monetary woes or living with any budget.That would be enough for me.I am not interested in holding high post in offices or be extremely distinguished. If I would want to carve out a name for myself, I desire it to be because I manage to help alot of people, I want to be known for my service for others.I want to be able to work in such a situation whereby I can help people in person, not the kind of help like donations or what.I want to personally do things for them.Such a role in life would make me feel alive and my life is worthwhile.

Sometimes when I hear others around me making big money their goals or wanting to really stand out in the finance line, I get confused. Am I wasting my life away by not trying hard to make good use of my cert, not being practical to want to earn as much money as I can.I get very confused.I would feel torn.Sometimes, I would tell myself to follow others blindly, to also make a target in life to earn lots of money.Make money the priority and focus of my life. Yet on the other hand, I know money does not hold the same value for me as for them.I would not be happy working just for money. I doubt myself and would be uncertain if I were to follow my heart, would I thrive, would I have enough money to live.Life is so full of uncertainities. There is no answer to my doubts, sadly.

I am also confused if I should stay in finance line, or work in some other government job that is non finance in nature or to take up psychology instead.Finance is definitely not my passion nor interest, if I pick it, it would be out of practicality or desperation.If I pick government job, it would be practicality and also an escape from any finance job, not forgetting stability from the job. If I pick psychology, it would be for my interest and dream.But it entails alot. How when upon graduation from psychology, I would be rather old, or where to get the school fees or what if I might not fare as well as I have hoped?

I always believe life is short.If we live for others, it would be a waste.To live for others I would mean listening to what others say which usually might not work for us, or trying to live up to the expectations others have for me.I want to live for myself, do what I fancy.Sometimes, even if it means to go against the mainstream. In the past I lacked the courage.Now I still lack, but I am prepping myself already.Life is about making improvements, about changes. I am not going to sit around and let accountancy eats me away slowly.I have thought things through.Sometimes the idea seems to have formed more and more clearly.I only have one life and I am going to live it well.I am ready to take steps to get to my dream.

I want to be a clinical psychologist.

:(

2008-08-20T20:42:00.002+08:00

I feel so disheartened today.

Looking at how people who wanted to help me but could not give me what I wanted and how people who could help me never bothered to, I felt so disheartened. But I understand everyone has their rights to do what they prefer to do, I do not blame anyone.I just feel rather awfully disappointed at the moment. Why is it that when I try hard at something, I get slapped in the face with failure.But when I choose to resign to fate or simply give up, opportunities just fall onto my lap as simple as that? I am feeling very perplexed.

I feel bad for giving my group mates false hope, false sense of security.Sigh.

I have not touched much of my homework because I was busy scoping for a company this morning.In addition, a case presentation is coming up, I guess the hard core is coming already.Time to get ready.Double sigh.

On a brighter note, we are playing basketball on friday and there is the fireworks festival lined up as well.At least something to look forward to.

Back to readings and more readings.

I burnt my day doing nothing again

2008-08-16T21:37:00.003+08:00

I so want to have a pet! Be it a shih tzu puppy, hamster, kitten, rabbit, anything! But I know I am disallowed to keep any :(

I met up both emerson and foi people last night.And very coincidentally, both of them wanted to dine at Kushin Bo.I was late in meeting the emerson ppl, around 45 minutes late,I thought I was on the brink of death judging from how my manager was msging me so frequently over the span of few minutes.Luckily, I survived.I was late for quite a bit but none seemed angry at me, at least never showed outright.I was expecting awkward silences and moments and none really came.They were still as talkative and inquisitive and friendly as ever.Actually..when I first saw them, I felt a wave of familiarity and ease.Considering how emerson ppl reads my blog, I shall not blog about them. HAHAHA.

Then dinner with anna and wenjing.I just met her on thursday and I met her again on friday.I am going to meet her again on next friday.I think I have no friends.ok, kidding.I am not complaining.I played my card game with them, they twisted the rules and objectives of the game.Ended up, it turned out to be a game of them finding all ways to block me from taking my turns.I was about to kill them when Kushin Bo staff chased us home.I am never going to play with them EVER.I am going to destroy my cards too. They gave me too much of a nightmare.Both anna and wenjing seemed to enjoy themselves alot though, so I guess my sacrifice was worth it.

I think I am quite lucky.All my ex-colleagues treat me like a friend.

Tmr, Li Jia wei is going to help us whack China's ass.I hope we can win.
And I caught the heats for 400m, both males and females.The contestants completed the race under 1 minute.1 minute to run 400m.Can you believe that?! I caught Michael Phelps in action too, that mermaid. I wonder how would it feel to be him, to break so many world records, and more importantly, to achieve the extreme targets he has set for himself.

at peace

2008-08-09T22:59:00.002+08:00

Today, we hanged out again.

We went to this hk cafe which is essentially a con shop in disguise. The food we had there was crap.Still, it was good to catch the Olympic game with cherrie they all.

We caught the female handball.Looking at the competitiveness of the players, the oh- so- familiar injuries and roughness of the game, they reminded me so much of the times when I was still playing competitive basketball.Those times were good, albeit tiring but they made me feel alive. I miss playing basketball. My basketball khakis - one in germany, one in china and one stuck in admiralty man hole.LOL.But playing basketball brought me friends and many happy memories.I still remember back then, a few of us would get people from the different classes to play against us, at the cc near our school.We had this fellow, who always chased persistently for the ball, round the court and non stop.Like mad. I used to wonder what the hell she was doing because I had no idea who she was too.I never chased so hard like her before.

Fast forward the time to 7 years later, this fellow, by some twist of fate, has now become one of my closest friends.Someone I bothered to care about.
Some things in life are simply so amazing, no?

I am always calm

2008-08-08T23:59:00.004+08:00

Sigh MONDAY GOT SCHOOL LAR! got 301 :( and I thought my monday is free.

I ponned school today because I felt too tired to go. What I had in mind was to spend my day mugging to make up for my absence in school.But it turned out otherwise.I was restless and did pretty much nothing.On hindsight, I feel slightly awful now.I have strong demons in me.I need to overcome them.Let this be the last time, end it before it turns into a vice of mine.

I am practising not to accumulate neg emotions or absorbing them.As such,I will take care not to feel too much, be too involved.I will take things easier to attain a greater piece of mind.So far I am coping well.Things that upset me of late, I remove them from my mind and brain even before they leave much impressions.Generally speaking, I feel happier and more lighted hearted.Which is good.If you are curious how I do that, I simply tell myself repeatedly to relax , not to be angry, and to let things go. Then, I will distract myself from the event which upsets me.It works, really.I vouch for it.

I caught the Olympics opening ceremony.I came to the final conclusion that the hottest guys so far, actually come from Cameroon.That judgment is based on my initial glance lar. I was disappointed that the screen time for Singapore seems noticeably short,shorter than others for sure.But I am glad Li Jia wei carried our flag.I like her because she looks so attitude on papers.I wish I was there to witness the fireworks.There were so much of it lar, I love fireworks!

Oh I have not mentioned how I wasted my life today.Having realised how my allies and friends in accordance to fengshui tips are dog sheep and pig (by horoscope), and how in my PA company, they are the exactly 3 people whom I hanged out with then, I saw the beauty of coincidence and fate at that point in time.So to test how true that is, I placed bets on toto using their birthdates and ages.But it turned out to be nothing but a faux.Cos my numbers were not the winning numbers.Wasted my $10.50!But I guess it was fun testing out.Anyway, it also proves my point that I do not believe in gambling to get money.

Lastly, tmr there would be a basketball match between china and no idea who.It is females match. 2.30pm, must watch!! But I be away the whole day. Nver mind, plenty of chances ahead.

:)

2008-08-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

Today is a good day.

work hard, shape up

2008-08-06T22:55:00.003+08:00

I am taking a breather for couple of minutes.Just enough for a break.

I have been at my 205 readings since yesterday.
It was tough juggling tv, notes and msn.But if I were to just read without engaging in other activities along the way, I would either give up reading long time back or I would be walking around the house incessantly.There are so much to read! I am not complaining.Complaining strengthens your mental resistance and makes you want to give up even more easily.I need a study mate.Someone to supervise me and stops me from doing any other thing except studying when I am supposed to.Nonetheless, study wise I am learning to push myself.I am no longer upset or suffer from irrational mood swings.I am all well, positive and willing to work hard.I will make sure my positive attitude will last me through the entire semester.

I haven't been sleeping well since last Friday.I am suffering from too much wind in my stomach.The feeling worsens through the night.I would feel so bloated and uncomfortable such that I would not be able to sleep, till say about 3-4am when I am knocked out by sheer lethargy.But, I would wake up the next day feeling weak and tired again, due to lack of sleep.What makes it more frustrating is that the medicine I got from the clinic is not of much help. And I cannot really eat, because after a few mouthfuls of food, my stomach will experience growing discomfort.Maybe my stomach wants to burst already.

ok, back to slogging.slogging makes you feel real makes you feel alive.

:)

2008-08-03T22:38:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow school is starting.
and my friend got me a gift to cheer me up! SO nice can!
and my ex colleague whom I thought had long forgotten me just called me recently too!
Positivity is the new in!

press on

2008-07-31T01:27:00.003+08:00

There are basically two ways to go about leading your life.
1. Feel upset about things that you disagree with or dislike, surrender and indulge in misery.2. Accept whatever life hands you, take the pain and press on.
I have been approaching life with method 1 for as long as I can remember.Now I want to take option 2.I refuse to be a waste.I want to be strong and press on.I want to make living worthwhile.

My gpa is a mere 3.2 now. I desire to pull it up to at least a second lower if possible.

This coming sem would be a tough one.Lots of smart people in my class.Smart people do not tolerate slow learners.This is why I feel angry when people scold others stupid.Its tough not to feel stupid but I will try not to get swayed by negative emotions.I must learn to take hardships.Everyone by right started out on the same footing.

I should look ahead.Pointless to regret not putting in effort in the past.What I can control now is my future.I have to believe in myself.Honestly, I really need all the encouragement and positivity from everyone.I need people to believe me, before I can be convinced to believe in myself.

I have a 10 year plan.
Good results, career and money are my goals now.
I must not make my living a waste.

nocturnal

2008-07-29T23:52:00.004+08:00

The serene setting of the night always makes me feel that sleeping my time away now is a waste.I am always lured into wanting to capture these quiet moments.Subconsciously, part of me would be pushing for me to stay awake while the other part would cave in to the malfunctioning body clock and give in to the great temptation.The end result would be having me doing nothing yet refusing to turn in for bed.So, I blog.I could have easily been an owl in my past life,given my huge appetite for solitude and how I feel so at ease in the night.I might "hoot" some day.

holidays brings inner peace

2008-07-29T01:15:00.002+08:00

I love holidays.

Whenever there are holidays and when I have no school or work, I always feel happier.

what's next

2008-07-26T23:54:00.002+08:00

A pile of books to read.
A table of mess to correct.
A room to pack.
A mind to clear.
A course to learn.
And a screwed internet connection.

End of internship

2008-07-25T23:11:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it is the night, the realization of another closure of a part of my life which makes me feel a little tinge of sadness now.

Today marks the end of my internship.While many has complained about theirs, I actually enjoyed mine.The only thing that I could find fault with for my internship is merely the fact that I needed to wake up early.

I spent about 11 weeks in emerson.For my first two weeks, I refused to talk or interact with anyone.Because I dreaded working working at a foreign place, mixing with strangers. However, the people there were patient with me.Slowly I opened up and gradually I began to enjoy myself.

Life there was easy and pleasant.

No one punished me when I made mistakes.On the contrary, they offered me help.They let me be who I am, to brood when I felt down, to whine when I was unhappy.I teased and joked with everyone,even my manager.There was no hierarchy.My manager is a very nice, gentle lady.I grow to like her over time.I also have a very good natured colleague giving me help all the time.I am very grateful to her for not being angry at me for my mistakes when she had every reason to.I am glad to have met them.

Tonight I stayed for OT.Partly because I screwed up my work and needed corrections, partly was because I wanted to spend a bit more time with them.It was a nice feeling, quiet night with just a couple of us.I like small groups, very cozy.Reminds me of my OT times at foi.I like how people in emerson are not pretentious .

You know what? Just now, it was my manager handling my timesheet, recording the periods for me. It was my colleague faxing it for me.All these were by right my duties, my own responsibilities.Yet they did not mind completing for me. My manager would sometimes pat me on my head, or sometimes asking if I was tired.How many superiors on earth actually does that?(exclude wenjing).They always ensured that I was eating well and that I did not feel left out.Come to think of it,I was really in good hands.

I did not manage to get them gifts even though I had earlier on intended to.I feel bad about that seriously.This was the first time I leave a company empty handed.

I had opted to intern in other company instead of foi because I wanted to brace myself for some hardship.I needed the experience to grow.It turned out that emerson has a rather caring/motherly/gentle culture,just like foi.Instead of lamenting that I have made a wasted decision,I actually counted my blessings to be able to meet them.

Even though I never told them so.

sian 1/2

2008-07-22T21:10:00.003+08:00

Because I cannot get to sleep, I shall post a longer entry tonight.

Today, buddy liwen is flying off for china.I did not send her off as planned.Because I felt sick suddenly, headache plus vomited after work.I was a bit disappointed at myself.At the eleventh hour, I am still doing disappearing acts on people.Some more to a friend that matters to me but I have never told the friend so. She would be away for 6 months.Everyone tells me that is a short time and how time flies.But if it is a friend who is your 24 hour helpdesk for anything be it school, friends or even family, I think it is not a short time.I hope everything will go well for her in china.

Went for breakfast with wenjing this morning.We have not done that in a long while already.It was the only good thing that happened today.I followed her to foi because she left the laptop there and I had to go with her to retrieve it.I did not enter foi though.I waited outside at the bus stop.Because I could not bring myself to reminisce everything and miss everything all over again. It was torturous waiting outside being so familiar with everything yet new to everything as well.She made soup and gave me some :)I cabbed to emerson and the taxi driver told me today is my lucky day.In return, I told him it is a good day for him too.Actually I have no idea what he was telling but I went on giving him more gibberish.YA, good day to puke.Come to think of it.

Director treated us to a meal at this Mexican restaurant.It costs him $336 bucks for the meal for 8 people.Directors print money as a hobby I believe.The minute I sat down I wanted to run away already.Before I went,I already contemplated many ways to avoid the meal.I still find it difficult to interact with a big group of people.The anxiety is still there.

Today started well only to end off so abruptly.I want to sleep this day away.

Despite that I always pon people's outing, this time round, I really did not mean to miss it.

Buddha says humans suffers because they want things to be permanent when nothing is permanent in nature.Only when we learn to let go can we be happier.

sunshine + hotpants + funny mom

2008-07-20T21:36:00.003+08:00

Weekends was fun.

Suddenly I realized happy times, those that are truly heartfelt ones, are rare these days.

yay!

2008-07-17T22:15:00.002+08:00

Guess what?

My friend booked for me the tickets to the fireworks festival already!
And my cousin and my sis are going as well on the following night, with me again!
I love fireworks!
BUT, I hope different stuff would be displayed on the two nights.
Woohoo!

I have OT tomorrow.And, I wonder how I can rush down for cherrie's birthday celebration on time right after my OT.Camping on Saturday, but I have Emerson BBQ as well.All the clashing of events.

And I have not done my PA report.

And today, I amazed myself with how serious I could be at doing my management book.It seems like I can indeed get things done when I set my heart to it.

And I am already counting down to liwen's departure to china.

counting sheep

2008-07-16T23:30:00.004+08:00

I might just sit through dawn.

Belief itself is power.

2008-07-13T22:26:00.007+08:00

Mental strength is the ability to overcome mental resistance and make things happen.

I will make things happen.

Because I am not waste.

I can do a whole lot better.

As of today, I will push myself harder and achieve more.I am capable of better things.And I have wasted enough, have lost enough.

Comfort zone will be my downfall.

I will grit my teeth, overcome all obstacles to ultimately stand tall.

I will complain less, seek less help and do more on my own.

I will believe in myself even if the world does not.

I can do a whole lot more than what I am now.

I will not surrender, I will not give up.

I will show results.

Just watch me.

fireworks addict

2008-07-13T00:43:00.004+08:00

So HAPPY today.
Because I went out and guess what?
I caught the fireworks for the NE show.
It was super awesome! Very bright and colourful.So loud some more.So clear also.We had a good view without anything blocking much.The variety displayed was the kind I love!! The sort that shoots up and mushrooms out!!And it lasted quite some time also.
It was truly a very delightful surprise to be able to catch it.
I so love fireworks!!!!!!

Yesterday, shamil from inspections of foi sort of talked to me and asked why I never return to foi to work.Suddenly, I started missing foi all over again.Lately, seeing how my interactions with Emerson has increased and how my interactions with foi has kind of died down and almost ceased, I thought my affinity with foi has really come to a closure.Because the lack of contact was rather apparent.I was a bit sad.Foi has given me much happy memories and I feel very much attached to it.So I find it hard to just completely forget about foi.I guess my attachment to foi seems rather irrational to most people.I am just glad that I am not forgotten by them.Actually I miss foi alot.Working there, being with them gave me a very homely feeling.

I miss them, miss my daily hot chocolate/coffee, miss playing with the dogs, miss having breakfasts together, miss having lousy handmade lunches together, miss disturbing them when they were busy, miss hearing them calling me xhm, miss having them slacking at my desk, miss driving them crazy with my crap, miss hanging out after work.

Memories ar memories...

random

2008-07-09T21:12:00.002+08:00

I get very disappointed and upset when people whom I treasure a lot never bother to spend time with me.It did not matter that they are aware of your feelings, because they still repeat. Sometimes, I think they do not really give a damn.Then, that makes me feel even worse. Giving time to people is important.However short it is, because it is always the thought that counts.When I receive too much disappointments from such people, my survival instinct tells me to never to contact them anymore.At least never ever put them so close to my heart anymore.I have a weak heart.But lessons on kindness and not judging teaches me to be more forgiving and to let go of such unhappiness.Funny thing is, I may have 99 people asking me out, yet I kept harping on that one person who does not.Either the impact of that person is really significant or I am really a stubborn person,out to drive myself miserable only.I do not know how to be less anal.

I used to be very indifferent a person.Nothing, no one, other than family can affect me emotionally.Now,I am so easily affected.I have no idea what or who has altered my mechanism.I think it has both good and bad sides.Good in the sense that I would care more for my good friends, bad because I would get upset more often.I guess I am more human now.But misery definite sucks.

I do not know when to draw the line that distinctly marks the end of everything.

Simon says

2008-07-05T23:37:00.011+08:00

I had fun today.But I feel fat.Crazy chef fed us too much food. But crazy chef is very nice to the two over sized worms on the couch.But one worm was going to burst.lol.Mother serves daughter, daughter serves friends :P

I will never forget that

2008-07-05T00:29:00.004+08:00

When I failed to get my core, I was sitting around brooding while,

Cath was busy clicking the stars planner for me (me and her alternate the clicking),
Kangling was checking for vacancy for my slot,
Rachel was checking other slots that I could possibly take,
Chongtang told me he gave me all his luck and also wanted to help me call the school to get me my core,
xiangling wanted to help me get also.

And even my emerson colleagues bothered to find out about the result of the subject registration.

I am moved.

happy night

2008-07-02T23:09:00.003+08:00

I went out with monster cherrie and freak liwen for dinner.And I felt so right at home in the companionship of them.We had fish head curry.It was truly scrumptious, rich in taste, spicy and thick to my liking.The fish was also soft and tender.What makes it better is that the dinning place had few people.So we had a decent, quiet place all to ourselves.I hate crowds alot. But, tommorrow I might have a tough time in the office because given my gastric I should be abstaining from spicy food or coffee lest my tummy will hurt.Funny thing is we are going have a cook-eat-die session at liwen's house on Saturday where she or we all, would prepare chicken chops,sides, soups and desserts complete with wines.I hope we are all insured.But fun I supposed.
I love the two of them.They are very me.In the sense that, as friends, we do not need to say out explicitly that we care or wad.We simply show in actions.Words are cheap, by the way.Friday's subject registration is making me feel stressful already.I hope all things go well man.Oh yar, we drank some alcohol also.I think it taste crappy.I would still choose my Meiji chocolate milk anytime man.

life moves on

2008-06-30T01:12:00.004+08:00

Some days, when we wake up, we feel we have got up from the wrong side of the bed and feel real lousy.On other days, we feel refreshed, recharged and all things great.
Either way, life still moves on.